❓The Leadership Challenge No One Talks About
In my last blog, I asked a question that most folks aren’t asking—but probably should be:
“What’s your biggest challenge right now?”
And you showed up. Some of you wrote back and bravely shared what you're walking through—and I just want to say thank you.
So today, I want to return the favor.
Because maybe—just maybe—the thing I’ve wrestled with the most… is the same thing you're struggling with too.
Because while I’ve had my fair share of struggles in leadership, one stands above the rest…
And it had everything to do with my mouth.
Yep. You heard me right.
Back in my corporate career, I had a communication style that was direct, decisive, and to the point. I believed that clarity was kindness—and I still do. But back then? I wasn’t building relationships. I was bulldozing right through them.
I was so focused on making sure there was no confusion, I didn’t stop to consider how my words were landing. What was meant to sound clear came off as cold. What was meant to be productive felt personal to others.
And the result?
Miscommunication. Conflict. Confusion. And a lack of cooperation.
But in my mind, I was doing the right thing. Saying what needed to be said. Driving results. Checking off the boxes and climbing the ladder.
Until one day… someone saw past the results and called me out.
Reveal Your Communication Blind Spots.
Discover 8 tips for clearer communication and stronger relationships
The Walk-Up Call I Didn’t See Coming
Meet my new boss… let’s call him Paul.
Paul was 6'2"—I’m 5'2" on a good day with heels. So, walking into his office for a performance review already felt intimidating.
He looked at me across the table and said: “Velma, you’re a great marketer. But you’re failing as a leader.”
Ouch. That one hit deep.
Then he said something I’ll never forget:
“The world doesn’t revolve around you. You need to learn that how you say something is just as important as what you say.”
At first, I’ll be honest—I was defensive. I thought, But I’m just being truthful! Isn’t honesty a good thing?
Yes… But truth without tact… can feel like an attack.
So, Paul made a decision that changed the trajectory of my leadership. He enrolled me in a 12-week communication training—on my time. Three hours every Thursday night from 6 to 9 p.m.
And you need to know this, I was excited at first. I love learning. But I didn’t realize just how much I needed this.
This was not just another training.
The training wasn’t about being a better public speaker or crafting perfect emails. It was about building better relationships through communication. It was about understanding myself and others. It was about listening, not just talking.
And most of all—it was about connection.
That’s when I discovered the DISC model of human behavior—a tool I later became certified in and now use to coach leaders (just like you) every single day.
DISC helped me understand that people don’t all communicate the same way—and they don’t hear you the way you think they do.
It gave me language for my strengths, my blind spots, and my impact.
And over time, I became less focused on being right… and more committed to being effective.
Let your biggest struggle be your biggest transformation…
Unshakeable Confidence: 7 Quick Wins to Lead Stronger.
💥The Real Cost of Poor Communication
Now you might be thinking, “Okay Velma, but is it really that big of a deal?”
Oh, friend. It is.
According to a 2023 study by The Holmes Report, miscommunication in the workplace costs businesses an average of $62.4 million per year in lost productivity.
And that’s just the financial cost.
Poor communication also leads to broken trust, fractured teams, failed projects, high turnover, and even personal fallouts. In fact, communication issues are cited as a leading cause in over 65% of divorces.
That’s why I say: Communication is not a soft skill—it’s a survival skill.
It’s the oil in the engine of your leadership.
Without it, everything grinds to a halt.
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The 3 Shits That Make You a More Valuable Leader
If you’re struggling with communication like I did, let me offer three things that made the biggest difference for me—and might just help you too:
Don’t just communicate—connect. - Words are tools, but connection is the goal. Ask yourself: “Am I building a bridge or a wall with my words?”
Know your style—and theirs. - Tools like DISC give you a roadmap for understanding how you (and others) naturally show up in conversations. When you know someone’s language, you stop speaking at them and start speaking with them.
Remember: Truth isn’t a weapon. - Honesty is powerful—but it doesn’t give you license to be harsh. You can be clear without being cruel. You can correct without cutting someone down. That’s what real leadership looks like.
🌱Final Thoughts
Sometimes, the hardest lessons make the best stories. And my biggest struggle? It became my biggest transformation.
Today, I teach what I used to trip over.
And I’m passionate about helping leaders—just like you—learn how to lead with both strength and sensitivity.
So let me ask you...
What if the way you communicate is the very thing standing between you and the life you want to lead?
🎁 Click below to grab your free resource:
”Reveal Your Communication Blind Spots.”
I’m cheering 📣 for you!
P.S. ➡️ Listen to the Podcast here